Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Why is Outdoorsmen a word and not outdoorswoman?

Well I suppose it is a word however... It is always underlined in red... WTF?

Let's try not to be pigs? Mmmm K?

I am so sick of the judgments passed by men, by women, by LDS, by Agnostic naturalist, by whatever you are! By all of you! STOP IT, GOD DAMN IT! Can we not just try for once to be humble?

Or is to be humble to show weakness. If God is all knowing then he cannot show weakness(by logic) nor can he show humility. How then can we follow his example? Because if there was a God he would not want us to live by his example he would want us to live by his rule. What kind of leader does not share in the following of laws we are ourselves are bound by? That's the flaw(in my opinion) of the A-typical God. He is not better than us, just placed here before with more knowledge and wisdom. He is humble in my opinion, and he doesn't control our ultimate out come, we do. We have free choice. We can decide who we are! I am grateful to believe in a higher power that can be humble and can show guidance without the pressure of guilt. Thank God, I don't believe in the brain washings of a religion so focused on caging any free will of spirit you have left.

Take me to the humble desert and away from this computer filled library, where life is not in true existence. The real world is not jumping through hoops in a university, its becoming part of a gift made by a creator. I NEED DESERT! I want to build myself up with clarity. Being in nature and feeling real wind (not A/C or dusty inside air), but REAL air, and see REAL things that didn't just come from some warehouse. I don't want to be part of this warehouse life! I can't wait to finish my schooling and run away to the dessert to fix up an old home and to be part of my own real world. To experience life and death and to be more in touch with how the REAL world works. Because when worse comes to worse it won't matter how many hosannas you've praised or how many times you've whispered a secret name to a sinner on the other side of a white veil. What will matter is how close you are to God and his gifts(AKA. your body, and this world) that's how you'll survive, not by food storage alone but by knowing how things work outside of this computer operated world we all seem so caught up in. So maybe stop and think... Would I be able to survive? Good luck ya fucking zoobie ass, carpi wearing pricks I'll gun you down and don't think for 2 seconds you have more knowledge on the wilderness you don't know jack shit.

OK THAT was invigorating. Do you like how I said not to judge others and and just judged the hell outta Mormons(my sympathies to members). But your in the real world now.


Saturday, September 25, 2010


“We are from the West. The world we suggest should be of a new wild West, a sensuous, evil world, strange and haunting. The path of the sun.” – Jim Morrison

Friday, September 24, 2010

Feelin' Mighty Fine

Feeling mighty fine

Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes I am

Feeling mighty fine

Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes indeed

Walk down any street

Pass the people you meet

What is it about this place that keeps you on your feet

Feeling mighty fine

Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes I am

Feeling mighty fine

Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes indeed

Night is coming down

Closer to the ground

Gonna have a little fun while I'm still around

Feeling mighty fine

Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes I am

Feeling mighty fine

Feeling mighty fine at this time, yes indeed

Don't believe the words they say to you when their soul's hurting

Don't believe a word they say about me because I'm feeling mighty fine

Think I gotta go

Think I'm gonna die

Oh my God somethings wrong

The end is coming near

because I'm

feeling mighty fine at this time, yes I am

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Because I will never be good enough

I stare into the face of beauty hoping that some how it will rub off on me? What is the point of this cherished laceration I repeat and repeat. Is it inspiration or medicine for a perverted mind?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The hob-Goblin Gobbler

While gobbling my blueberries and yogurt I realized I wasn't
even tasting much of my berries. I then took smaller bits and
instead of chewing them on the side of my mouth I nibbled them
like a bunny. On the tip of my tongue. TART, SWEET, SOUR.... WOW!
Do I miss out on tastes like this all the time? I must.

It's amazing how much more satisfying food is when you chew....
suck, lick, roll around, and let your sense of taste.... TASTE!
For heavens sakes I'm always GULPING down food, almost in the
fashion of 'JUST GET ON WITH IT!' Food can be enjoyable,
slow down Betsy!

I wish I treated food this way all the time, but my habits are
sadly not as refined.. What's a girl to do? CHANGE!

My goal for eating habits this week is to suckle on small
bits, to chew it on all sides of my mouth, and to feel the food.
Not simply allow it to pass by without so much as a good chomp.
I will be taking tinsy, tiny bits. I know that whole cracker can fit
in your mouth cracker... But it's unnecessary to inhale food.
Despite our recent recession we are not in a dust bowl and we are not
starving(look at the people around you right now! Point proven?)

Small bits will have a goal or 20-30 chews before I swallow.
Quite frankly as many as possible. :) <3 LET'S GIVE IT A TRY!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Cravings *

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Time to refresh

TO: Reset. Admit to things that we've
done, and to the things we've left to the wolves.

Time to let your hair down.

Recommit to yourself.

TO: Higher education.

To becoming who you wish to be tomorrow, and in 50 years.

Don't waste your youth.

Time to hold no regrets and fuck the consequences.

TO: do what it takes no matter how little sleep, and how bad you ADD is.

The time is now. DO or DIE.

It's got me lovein you Madly!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Do ya ever...

-have one of those 'Ahhh' moments?
-think about someone other than yourself?
-wonder have I always been a part of the matrix?
-sleep in without feeling guilty?

I had one of those days. I realized..... I'm not the only person with problems. I know that sounds retarded. I assure you it is. But as I drove away from my parents house and thought about all the things my poor mother is dealing with I took a sigh of relief not to be her, to be me. To be young and still have so many directions I can take. Her path is pretty well set out. Mine is just starting. She is having her woman guts tore out(Hysterectomy), dealing with my slut, jobless sister(who also happens to pawn her child off onto my mother routinely), my insane dad who is always dumping hundreds of dollars into pyramid schemes, she works manual labor full time, and boards her mentally ill brother(my uncle) who just happened to randomly show up at the house about 6 months ago. WOE!! So next time I feel bad because I look like an elephant in the mirror or a cow stuck in the frame work of a door I'm going to remember there are worse things(and not to reproduce).

Friday, September 10, 2010

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

In search of............

A COAT! I what to find one just like this one. Long classy yet warm, and BIG! :)

How to resign from being a Latter Day Saint:

Dun dun, dun. Starting my new years resolution list, and having my name and records removed from the church is on the top of the list.

Friday, September 3, 2010

* Come to think of it*

Most days, most times, most places, and with most people; I just want to be beautiful.
Some of the time I want to dissolve, migrate, slip, and veer; vamoose.


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Just sayin'

“The struggle for marriage rights should be part of a larger effort to strengthen the stability and security of diverse households and families. [...] Marriage is not the only worthy form of family or relationship, and it should not be legally and economically privileged above all others. A majority of people – whatever their sexual and gender identities – do not live in traditional nuclear families. They stand to gain from alternative forms of household recognition beyond one-size-fits-all marriage.”