Saturday, July 31, 2010

There is a pleasure
in the pathless woods;

There is a rapture
on the lonely shore;

There is a society,
where no one intrudes,

By the deep sea,

And music in its roar:

I love not man the less,

But nature more.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Thursday, July 29, 2010

August 7th Set the date!

I'm doing it like this------------->

<-----------------------Next time............... (?)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

FUCKIN' Bitches!

REally do you need to blog about how cool you are and how everyone wants to be you?


I guess you do. Hope if entitles you, allowing you to grasp the situation(that you're pathetically trying to portray). GRAB THAT BULL BY THE HORNS! Hell fuck it in the ass for all I care.

You're just a skinny fat Fuckin' Bitch.

After all "The snake stood up for evil in the Garden."

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Bum hum look book nu


  • 20 Minute Intervals
  • Lift: Arms n' Abs
  • Yoga(Provo gym 0645PM-0745)
  • Cycle (With WHIT!)
  • Minimum 5 mile run
  • Butt n' Legs
  • Yoga(Provo gym 0900PM-10)
  • 20 minute intervals
  • Arms n' Abs
  • Distance Run (7-13 miles)
  • Butt n' Legs

I will be adjusting something around, we'll see. I just want to do more yoga and more running!

Wanna look like this.............

Mmmm k?

I feel like a fat fuck no matter what I weigh. I need to drop weight but not muscle. I need to work out more, eat less, and leave my worries to the moon. I am not in a good place mentally and I can't even write this in my livejournal because I showed it to a friend thinking I could write without want. But I can't. My fear of being judge is too much right now. I just feel helpless against my pounding mind. My run today was invigorating, but I was left empty once again. I would have to run myself into the ground to feel something... And it wouldn't be satisfaction it would be guilt over not running farther faster. Fuck! I am behind in homework and can't bring myself to do any of it because its a holiday?.. FUCK UTAH! Pioneers my Ass! Murders is more like it, slaughtering an indigenous people, some Christians. I hate Mormon's and their interpretation of Christianity it's vile and not practiced. Those followiers that are actually good people are just brain washed into believing making excuses for members that suck little boys dicks and ask for details about your sexual sin to help you through the repentance process is acceptable. FUCK ME YOU PERVERTED OLD MAN! I'm not going to tell you where and how many times, you think some secret hand shake and special name get you into heaven. News check for you this is your chance to make your life what it is and to enjoy the blessings of 2 very important gifts a)your body and b)this planet. So clean up your act! God Mormons on Pioneer Day. I will be a shut in today(minus the gym and renting a movie for the LIST) I am so fucked up I just wish I was thin. I've had 1000 calories today and ran just over 5 miles. I should at least lose one pound today... I'll be up one tomorrow tho because my body refuses to allow me to take control of who I want to be. FUCKKK!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Humanity I Love You

Humanity i love you
because you would rather black the boots of
success than enquire whose soul dangles from his
watch-chain which would be embarrassing for both

parties and because you
unflinchingly applaud all
songs containing the words country home and
mother when sung at the old howard

Humanity i love you because
when you're hard up you pawn your
intelligence to buy a drink and when
you're flush pride keeps

you from the pawn shops and
because you are continually committing
nuisances but more
especially in your own house

Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it's there and sitting down

on it
and because you are
forever making poems in the lap
of death Humanity

i hate you

-E. E. Cummings

Saturday, July 17, 2010

An Ordamented woodpecker

Our open bay window often has puffs of feathers stuck to it. Birds must have felt welcome in our home, because they were always trying to get in. Unsuccessfully so of course due to the down feathers always momentarily glued to the glass.
THUMP! Chauncy and I rush to the window. "I don't see a water balloon.." -ya. Hmm? We carefully make our way outside. A rather large bird was laying on the path to our front step right below our common room. I squat down to get a good look at it. It was just brown with a long beak. I left it there in fear of it coming back to life or that the fowl might be disease redden.
Home from the bakery in all white and glowing with love, and a smile. The smell of sweet apple fritters and fresh baked bread lingering.
"MOM! Another bird hit the window, a BIG one!" -Let's go look at it. As mom carefully handled the very dead bird she spread it's wings open and the orange feathers stripped like the American flag. Gorgeous! I know now what I had not known then, this was a northern flicker.The synopsis, my kind hearted mother had a practicing taxidermist stuff our cherished plum. To this day a Flicker proudly spreads it's colorful wings in my parent's kitchen.

Pieces of me .x.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Heaven, HELL, and sister's with broken hands!

As I keep my lips from uttering this not so funny(actually it's hilarious) account of a day gone wrong. My phone rings, and I've been trying to wake up now for 2 hours, the motivations is not there today, and it's my sister. I don't answer. Then my dad. I still don't answer. AGAIN my sister, so I answer..... -Hello?
"TRACY! (crying sister) I broke my hand!!!!"
-Oh my Gosh are you ok? What happened?
"Teagan and I were in a car accident(still crying hysterically)"
-Call the cops! Did you call the cops?
"Ya. We're at home."(She stops crying)
-Oh, well, ok, are you ok?
"NO! Mom has diarrhea, and I can't feed Teagan and Mom has to sit on the toliet, and I can't pick him up." (Mean while I can hear my nephew screaming in the back ground)
-Ok I'll be over in a minute.

If I sounded annoyed, it's because I was. I helped feed the kid, gave him a bath, put him to bed, yada yada. Mean while Teresa's hand is swelling up like a balloon and my mom is sick with the flu and upset with the fact that her car is totaled now. Sheesh! I drive mi hermana to the ER and we get her all taken care of. I suppose I am annoyed that the whole time we are there she is talking about some guy, and texting him. He's taking me to dinner tonight. GOD she's not even divorced or separated! She leaves my sick devastated mother at home with my no so comforting dad at home and takes off with some guy. I am only upset about this because it's not as if this is a one time thing. This is, has, and always will be my sister. I have to laugh. How can I be related to such a person. I was annoyed today with my sister and not so nice to my mom. I need to be nicer to my mommy. I love her. I love my sister, but I refuse to like her.
Chauncy called me today he is pretty mad about my mom's car. He said something I that re acknowledged why I love him so much. "If anybody doesn't deserve this it's mom. She works so hard! It isn't fair." I love my family, but heavenly Betsy they are nuts!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Read this book!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

YOGA @ the Pond

Peace, love, and my pond in the dark. A Yoga heaven.