Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My world, who's world.

I laughed today at something I do not think is funny. I don't want to be a fake person. So often I find myself living in a daze, staring through someone Else's life. The fat bitch on my back is so fucking heavy! If only I could lose a few more pounds I think I could get rid of her. I must be cautious of how I come across to friends. I am so quick to spout out how being over weight is a major fault. I say it in casual comments. It's just how I view the world. But I view things quite offensively. I simply try to live my life in the reverse of anyone I don't want to be like. If asked why I walk all the way from free parking I might say. "Because that is exactly what an obese person would not do." That's simple enough, except the person I may be talking to might be over weight. GOD! I need to have some heart and feelings. I don't mean to belittle them. Simply to say I'd rather drive myself insane not to ever look anything like you. See the point? I'm clearly mixed up. Or am I? Should I really be the one worrying about offending fat people. Or should our society take a step up? I don't know. I feel so backwards, yet I am not the one going to have a less fulfilling life because physically I'm not up to par. Check. Ok then, let's try not to crash and burn. I'm down a few and it feels great. I hope to lose 7-8 more lbs. ASAP.

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