It's plain that it's not frank, and I am always cold. I couldn't say I'd trade places. Should I feel guilty? I do. I feel so selfish, and worried that I can't make it up. Make up for a life that is so precious each life is precious and never an accident. I feel ignoring my mental state is not making it better.
Herding food from my mind and becoming the 'ideal' women doesn't make this better. My heartache, or insecurities become entangled to one giant mass. I feel very sad when I am at work and have time to think. Especially with no distraction of school work. Don't hold your breath, but I need to do something. The something I've done isn't working anymore.
Think positive. It can't all be dark. At least I have air... Guilty air.